I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
