I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
