Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
