so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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