it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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