Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
