I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
