i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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