I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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