FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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