I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
