yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize