I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
