The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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