She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
