Please, let me fuck your mom
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize