omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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