just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
