the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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