I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
