Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
