I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
