Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
