Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize