That's intense
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
