No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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