the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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