im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
being pregnant is like rehab
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
