Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
