The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
We don't watch enough power rangers
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
It's rum buckets o'clock
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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