What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
