I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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