either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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