i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize