I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
