Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Your penis caused this!
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
