imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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