Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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