you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
