Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
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