So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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