shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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