I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
