Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize