i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
