woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
