Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
literally had 100 drinks last night.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
