so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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