oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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