she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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