everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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