i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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