i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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