3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
