and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
