you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
