I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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