White coat. Heels.
I skipped work to stalk him.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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