Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I wish you could order shots online.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
