Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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