I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize