How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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