Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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