TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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