we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
