i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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