actually, I'm a sock model
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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