is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
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