what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
